As
everyone might have gathered, planes are often uncomfortable: cramped,
stiff, lacking entertainment, or maybe outright scary. However, none
of these things are my prime reason for hating getting on a plane. Flying puts me
in a state of transition; it is a similar to what people experience during the
second stage of a rite of passage (the phase of transition, which
is characterized by liminality). You belong neither here nor there. It
is possible that people don’t notice because the feeling is not as strong as it
is while in a rite of passage; it doesn't particularly feel good, but it is
easily manageable.
During
the time of transition in a rite of passage people are expected to reflect on
what they were and what they are about to become. However, during a flight I am
not changing into anything other than locations, which in most cases is just
temporary, either for visits or tourism. I understand if you feel that way when
you are moving to live somewhere else, but when you are just visiting somewhere
it is completely unnecessary.
This blog
post is definitely an example of the product from my reflections. In other
words, it is an airplane reflection on airplane reflecting (Yes, I wrote this
on the plane). I do not claim everyone experiences this, but it wouldn't surprise me if other people that regularly reflect on their lives and decisions
(like me) have similar experiences; especially when flying alone, but not
limited to those flights.
It doesn't matter how much entertainment or work I have in the plane. I am
repeatedly pulled into sulking, wallowing, wondering, and just plain thinking
about the state of my life as I left it before I walked into the airport and
how I will change it after I leave it on my destination. The reflecting doesn't have to be on serious aspects of my life either: it can be on dietary choices
as well as doubts on career choice. The subject of reflection is not the
problem; neither is the reflecting itself (I do that often while playing video
games or watching TV late at night, and enjoy it because it helps me define who
I am and what I want). What I despise is the fact that I am stuck in the
airport/plane with little chance to change anything. Normally I am able to
immediately act on my reflections and actively change what I want because I reflect
on a daily basis. Even though I can choose not to eat McDonald just as any
other time outside of the airport I still feel like I can’t do anything, and
that just makes me annoyed.
To
clarify and conclude, I hate that while I am on a plane trip I feel useless,
liminal, and outside of my own existence. Perhaps this is another reason why I
hate other people driving me around? I haven’t really exposed myself to this
situation, as I rarely let anyone drive me around. I must contemplate and
examine this thing while Becky drives me around. As I don’t really have other
people that I let drive me around. Maybe I've just been flying on the wrong
area of the plane. I simply need to be up there piloting the damn thing. Can
you imagine a driver like me flying a plane? Damn that must be scary as shit
for everyone else… Lol
Well let
me know if I’m just full of shit :)
I have most definitely not kept my promise of posting weekly. I know there is not traffic to my blog, but it is still a promise to myself. I did not realize how much time studying for physics and changing my way of thinking (from writing to mathematics) would take out of my life. I have noticed though that my previous knowledge of physics tends to come rushing back after a certain amount of practice and studying, which is what is allowing to stay on top of the material and the class. It is an amazing feeling.
